I have dealt with a lot of different types of people even in my short time on this planet, and I’m sure you have too. Though we alone are in the driver’s seat with our own lives, the people around us can make or break our daily reality, so it is important that we tend to our friendships and relationships in order to open up to opportunity and set up for success.
The scene is familiar: some people are a pure joy to be around, and bring a smile to your face and a lift to your mood without the slightest ounce of effort. Others may not act in a particularly extroverted way, but they still are warm, genuine people, and your relationship is mutually positive. However, there are other people who unfortunately not this way.
What are the signs of an unhealthy friendship or relationship? The first step towards cleaning house when it comes to people is to identify suppressive ones. This may sound harsh, but it is not intended to be so. It’s not about dividing people up or labeling permanently, it’s about being true with yourself and how you feel about those in your life.
This is sort of a serious topic, so it calls for the release of negative thoughts. I really don’t favor phrasing things in the negative sense most of the time, but I find it is the only clear way to communicate these characteristics. Sometimes the most direct way of saying something is that which is most radically honest, and hence most helpful! Let’s take a look.
21 Signs of Suppressive People Who Hold You Back
#1: They are dogmatic. Unable to see beyond rules, they grip closely on doctrine.
#2: They are argumentative. They can’t agree to disagree. They don’t discuss, they attack.
#3: They are uninterested. They never take the time to hear what you care about or like.
#4: They are disconnected. They do not choose to perceive and to understand their world.
#5: They are unoriginal. They copy ideas and take credit without contributing new things.
#6: They are fear-mongerers. They are addicted to seeking hype, conspiracy, or evils.
#7: They are codependent. Instead of thinking for themselves, they rely on validation.
#8: They are conditional. Your friendship with them rests solely on flimsy criteria.
#9: They are personal. Their opinions hinge on attacking who you are as a person.
#10: They are phony. You know in your heart they lie or don’t really care about you.
#11: They are delusional. They have a warped view of themselves, others, and their world.
#12: They are oppressive. They operate by making fun of you or pointing out your flaws.
#13: They are absent. They ignore NOW or the real world, always looking for escapisms.
#14: They are faithless. They distance themselves from beauty, love, and god.*
#15: They are naysayers. Their energies are destructive in the world, not inspiring.
#16: They are pessimistic. They expect the worst and focus on what is bad around them.
#17: They are victims. The world somehow conspires against them. They blame or project.
#18: They are ungrounded. They fear consolidating firmness on any issue or belief.
#19: They are snooping. They pry into you and your life to break you down step by step.
#20: They are unhealthy. They don’t take care of themselves or others (make bad choices).
#21: They are ungrateful. They are seriously spoiled, failing to see how good things are.
Have you met people like this? I sure have, and it’s time to let them go. As I wrote in my first post at the new website, my rule these days is to eliminate anyone who doesn’t appreciate me like I appreciate them, and instead focus on true blue friends. There are 7 billion people in this world. I don’t need to waste my time on those that bring me down instead of lift me up, and you shouldn’t either!
Here are some strategies I came up with for making that shift happen.
8 Tips for Purging Destructive Energies from Your Life
#1: First, identify problem areas. What holds you back the most right now? Tackle that.
#2: Choose to stop giving your time and energy to suppressive people. Key word: choose.
#3: Have compassion. Everyone is at a different step, so be aware of how you act.
#4: Forgive. We all need time to figure things out, so believe in second chances and change.
#5: Be respectful. When in doubt, take people at face value and honor their opinions.
#6: Go offline. Facebook can be a worst offender for perpetuating misery. Go for a walk.
#7: Move yourself. You may need to physically move your location. Exercise helps too.
#8: Ready, fire, aim. Worry can emotionally paralyze you. Sometimes, just DO!
To close, here is a cool image by some inspiring friends, the RawBrahs:
Note: If you are concerned about lettings things go, it’s okay. Sometimes caring people truly desire to be freed of unproductive relationships, but may be “too nice” and worry that not working to fix what is broken will actually create problems. I have thought along this wavelength at many points in my life, and can tell you it isn’t worth it!
Take a bucket of water out of the ocean, and that hole does not stay empty, it quickly fills with fresh water. Same thing with people. When you exuberate good things, energized by your surroundings, the domino effect comes into play entirely in the right direction. Don’t worry about tending to what isn’t working. This phenomenon will surprisingly ring true.
Question of the day: What has worked for you so far to welcome in better energy?
* I am not necessarily referring to a specific religion, but rather having any sense of appreciation for the divinity of the world, humans, happiness, nature, and so on. Thanks!
Brought to you by Brian Greco
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